I can't remember the exact date in April, but, yeah, my cousin Ly passed away. It was unexpected, but not entirely surprising. His family - his mom, dad & brother - haven't been forthcoming with any details surrounding his death, so as in life, there is a lot of hush hush about Ly's passing.
On my mum's side, there are the ten cousins. We're a special group of idiots. I say that lovingly. Ly was the oldest. He had a crazy stupid job working Wall Street. He never slept and he wasn't the greatest at self-care. Too, he was a very private person. He lived in NYC, making him a favorite for visiting. For a long while, he had a super sweet apartment in the Upper West Side before he moved over to Queens, so he could be closer to the Asian lifestyle and a parking spot. His girlfriend-possibly-secret wife lived with him. Her name was Gina and she was Korean, which I suspect was something that his family didn't appreciate, unfortunately. Gina was very very ill, with what, I do not know. I do know that Ly was super protective of her. She died a couple of years ago and he just kinda...dropped off. We kept in touch strictly by email and even then, very sparsely. The other cousins saw him from time to time, but they were always brief encounters. Sometimes, instead of anyone staying with him, he'd just get them a hotel room.
Ly bought me my first Devo albums, once got us New York Rangers suite-seats at MSG [remember, JMB?], and always picked the best restaurants. And he wasn't just generous, we generally shared the same opinion about everything. He and his brother Sonny made great comrades-in-arms when the mums and aunts got worked up into hysterics over nothing.
I absolutely regret not reaching out to Ly more, even if it was just to say HELLO and even if I got no response.
As soon as we learned of his passing, KMHD and I scraped money together, borrowing from savings, to go be with our family.
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| We went to Joe's Shanghai's straight from the airport for some comfort soup dumplings. KMHD on the left, My Tam on the right. These are my favorite soup dumplings and Joe's dumplings ain't bad either. |
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| Wandering around Queens before heading to Long Island. We really needed a bubble tea. Truthfully, we needed to collect our courage before facing my devastated aunt. |
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| My aunt and uncle's place in Ronkonkoma, Long Island. |
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| One of KMHD and I's favorite thing about the house is the unchanged interior. Metallic foil wallpaper! |
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| It is the best! |
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| Getting ready for the wake. |
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| I felt like such an imposter at Ly's wake. I was sad. I am sad. I just mostly observed my family dynamics and the mystery guests the entire day. I get that folks grieve differently, but I just couldn't...perform. Too, there was major family drama and unpleasantness. It was a bit of a shit show. |
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| We spent a nightmarish 10 hours at the funeral home. Our clothes and hair smelled like delayed decay. Looking at this tree from time to time helped me a great deal. |
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| At some point during the wake, some of us went to a horrible Vietnamese restaurant in Queens that someone insisted was Ly's favorite (there is no fucking way) and this mirror in the bathroom was the best thing about it. We ate there and brought take-out back to the funeral home where everyone proceeded to diss the food, especially my mum and aunts. |
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| This is the last view of Ly before our Uber took us away to La Guardia. I was so sad that we were so short on time/money that we couldn't stay for the funeral. |
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| I returned home to new irises in the yard. |
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| I pulled over for this. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) |
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| Until this is acknowledged with no ifs/ands/or buts, we'll never move forward. I know it's hard, but it's the truth. Also, big ups to the person who did this at Indian Hills Kroger. |
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| FOUND, after a long search. Dipped cone from DQ in Hot Springs. |
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| Lavish camping coffee. Moving forward, though, I'm going to stop 'apologizing' for liking a proper cup. |
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| My favorite desire path. |
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| ATM got some music released, which you can get at Drawing Room Records. |
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| Chinese Gals |
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| Porthole windows are such a good look. |
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| Waiting for a table at HTT. I look like garbage, but KMHD + ATM look cool. Photo by Everett |
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| Alright, this little donut shop in Levy has put me off all other donut shops. All hail Mark's Donuts! |
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| You have to go early and even then, it gets a little cutthroat. They're usually served still warm. Their basic glazed is god-food. The chocolate knot is killer. Show them you care with Mark's Donuts. |
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| First game of the season and we were right up on the team. I got really into baseball this year. There's a lot going on if you know where to look. Sometimes, I'd go alone and just listen to music on my headphones. It's such a great way to decompress after an awful day at work. |
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| For my maple saplings, I played music. They like all kinds of music. |
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| ridiculous |
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| Painting by pal Grace Mikell Ramsey |
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| The Plato 1947 from Heights Taco & Tamales pretty much covers all Ark-Mex cravings. I want one rn, but I'm working off some holiday badness, so maybe in like a month or three. |
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| A sum of us did Stanley Cup Playoff brackets and this was the prize. The other prize is that winner buys everyone a beer at Oyster Bar. |
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| The Clinton Presidential Park bridge has got dramatic! lighting! |
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| Hey, I know this guy! |
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| His paw! :3 |
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| (G)old friend Jonathan moved back to Little Rock. |
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| Livin' in America |
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| Waiting to meet up with Trisha + Anthony at Kollective Coffee + Tea. Sometimes Hot Springs is unrecognizable with it's fancy draft nitro coffee that is delicious. |
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| This building was built up on this wet rock. |
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| Hawks took care of them Ducks, though. Great set of games. Thank you, Internet, for this image. |
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| In May, the river rose to great heights and it was a sight to behold. Hell, right now, the river is rising due to the insane amount of rain we had over the Xmas holiday. Should be cresting tomorrow or the day after. |
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| We've got a the Harvard graduate in the family! My cousin My Tam done did us proud. The entire Viet fam pooled their money for her to do this. That is an aspect of my family that I quite like. |
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| Sitting at the top of KABF's stairs, sipping a radler, listening to ATM boss the soundwaves. |
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| He really is good at it, though. |
Thanks for sticking with me.
Moving along.
:)
